Voodoo?
by KnowledgeandImagination
Summary: Byakuya learns about voodoo. But what does that have to do with strawberries? Warning: randomness, possible OOC and crack. Written when I was bored. Slight implication of Ichiruki.


Okay, I was just bored, and my friend and I randomly came up with this, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. It's very crack, and really out of my style. Hope it's not too weird.

* * *

**Voodoo?**

The day was a calm one. Kuchiki Byakuya found nothing out of the ordinary as he strolled through the Kuchiki gardens, admiring the delicately tamed flowers and trees. The koi in his pond had seemed to stop declining and he was relived.

While strolling through another of his fine rock gardens, he came across his adopted sister, Rukia, sitting on the porch and reading a book. He felt a smile tug at his lips. It wasn't often that he saw her so relaxed like this. She was usually tense, and all senses alert. Except around that rude, boisterous orange headed substitute.

His eyes frowned as he thought of the boy. Kurosaki Ichigo never failed to get on his nerves. It wasn't just that he always strode through Soul Society like it was his home, or that he never showed anyone the proper respect (especially him), or the annoying way that he had to stick his nose everywhere. No, what riled the otherwise stoic sixth division captain the most is the fact that he was so _friendly _and _intimate _with Rukia. And the fact that Rukia seemed to be the same toward him. Just the thought made him grind his teeth together. He was not going to give his precious sister (even if adopted) to someone like Kurosaki Ichigo.

But Rukia was not with Ichigo right now. She was utterly mesmerized by the book she was reading.

"What is it that you are reading, Rukia?" Byakuya asked calmly, striding toward the girl.

Rukia's eyes snapped up, and she instantly bowed her head. "Nii-sama! This is a book that Ichigo," Byakuya fought to keep the stab of annoyance from showing, "gave me. It's about all these weird rituals that humans do. There's this thing here called voodoo. It's like something to do with casting spells or something. I don't really get it myself, but it says something like if you stick pins in a doll of a person, then you'll actually hurt them. But the doll has to closely resemble the target, like, be just like them…Nii-sama?"

Byakuya had begun frowning. Worried that she had offended him, she hastily added, "Of-course, it's just human rubbish. It's not like it's true…"

"Closely resemble the target, you say…" Byakuya said. Rukia blinked up at him, confused. Byakuya turned away. "I have work to do. I will see you later, Rukia."

He left the garden and entered his manor. As soon as he did, however, he snapped his fingers. A servant came up to him immediately and bowed. "It there something you need, Kuchiki-sama?"

"Yes. Go to the market, and buy me a crate of strawberries," he said, a rather evil smirk making it's way uncharacteristically to his face.

*

A few hours later, Renji was standing at the door to the Kuchiki manor, wondering if his captain could possibly be inside, but not daring to go in. Byakuya needed to sign some papers.

"Renji?" came a voice. He turned to see Rukia, a book under her arm, staring at him curiously. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, I'm looking for taichou. He hasn't been seen for a bit. Do you know where he is, Rukia?"

Rukia frowned. "No, I haven't seen him. But I think he may be in his private study. You can go search if you want."

"Eh, but I'm not a noble!"

"So, I am, and I gave you permission. Just don't touch anything," she added. Rukia walked over and called for a servant to show Renji the way. "I'm gonna go visit Ichigo for a bit, so I'll see you later. Bye Renji," she walked off.

Renji wouldn't admit it, but sometimes, he was internally grateful that Rukia was a noble. It certainly helped him get some things that he'd never get otherwise.

He followed the servant silently down a maze of halls that was Byakuya's manor. He could feel himself already loosing track of how they'd come. At last, they stopped in front of a pair of shoji doors. "Kuchiki-sama is inside. You may not want to disturb him though," the servant bowed and left.

Renji stared stupidly at the doors. Then, gathering up his courage, he knocked. At first, there was no answer. He knocked again. Still nothing. Wondering if something could be wrong, he carefully slid the door open slightly.

He gaped in shock. There sat Byakuya, a grimly calm expression on his face, surrounded by a horde of strawberries. All of them, Renji noted in fascination, was mutilated in some way or the other. Some had pins stuck in it as though it was a pin-cushion, and some were chopped in half, and still others were nothing but sad lumps of red flesh, slashed to pieces, no doubt, by Senbonzakura.

Renji stared, uncomprehending, at the sight in front of him. Why was Byakuya torturing these strawberries with such feverish?

He tried to close the door when an ominous voice suddenly said, as though decreeing a death sentence, "Abarai…"

Renji gulped and opened the door, forcing him to meet his captain's furious eyes. They bore into him, and Renji felt as though he could be fried on the spot by Byakuya's rage.

"What are you doing here?"

"Er…" Renji looked away, terrified to stare any longer into Byakuya's eyes. "I was looking for you. You were needed in office…"

"And how did you get into my manor?"

"Um," Renji said, still uncomfortable. "Rukia let me in…"

"And did no one tell you not to disturb me?" Byakuya asked, a hint of concealed menace in his voice.

"Well…" Renji said, feeling a nasty feeling in his gut that Byakuya's hand had just twitched to Senbonzakura. He had obviously intruded on something he wasn't supposed to. He may have just sealed his fate.

"Leave now. I will go into office later."

"Yes sir!" Renji was only too glad to obey. He dashed off, going the wrong way and falling into a koi pond in his haste. Byakuya's brow twitched and he frowned in distaste. His lieutenant also never failed to get on his nerves.

He clicked his fingers again, and the servant that had escorted Renji appeared at his side, bowing.

"Clean up that mess," Byakuya gestured at the mutilated strawberries, "And go to the market and get me some pineapples, and paint them all red…"

The end?

Omake:

Rukia swung herself through Ichigo's room. She had expected a surprised Ichigo, and him to yell at her for showing up so suddenly and coming in through the window, but instead, to her great surprise, she found him lying very still on the bed.

"Ichigo?" she questioned.

He opened one eye, a tortured expression on his face. "Rukia…"

"What's up with you?"

"Well, this probably sounds crazy, but I keep feeling chills up my spine and as though I'm being stabbed with pins and Every time I close my eyes, I get a image of being slashed to pieces by Senbonzakura…"


End file.
